Recovery-snakes and ladders:part 3

It was about 6 hours later when I regained consciousness, I was alone, it didn't look like anybody had been near me. I was absolutely gutted, what was I still doing alive? This could not be possible, I'd injected enough to kill a horse! I decided to walk up to the A&E hospital, not to actually go to A&E but to jump off the top of the car park there. I wanted the immense pain that my life had become to end, and it was the closest high building. A couple of hours later I was 7 storeys up. Looking down, I found that I couldn't jump. I was used to sticking needles in my arm but I'd never jumped from 70 feet before. It scared the shit out of me! I kept drifting in and out of consciousness so I decided to sit on the edge of the thin parapet thinking that the next time I lost consciousness I would just fall off. But, I kept on waking up, still there. This went on for hours and hours until I thought this isn't going to happen, I might as well get down. My problems now were even worse, I'd stolen the money I used to buy the gear from a friend, thinking that my end would justify the means I'd used. I was a complete failure, I couldn't even kill myself and now I'd stolen from a friend, something I'd never done before and now regretted. I didn't know what I was going to do, my options had run out. I was desperate and lonely.