Recovery-snakes and ladders:part 1

Throughout the years of my addiction I believed I had only one major hurdle to get over, that being to not use drugs, and then everything in my life would fall into place. Unfortunately this turned out to not be the case. I came to realise that my addiction had been masking lots of other issues in my life, such as feelings of inadequacy, poor life skills and social ineptitude to name but a few. These issues only came to light when I actually managed to stop using. I wasn't prepared for them and I was taken completely by surprise at a time when I was at my most vulnerable. This particular time ended in relapse for me, and turned into my darkest and most hopeless time of drug addiction. I felt I couldn't cope with life, using or not. I knew my options had run out and there was nothing left for me do but fade away. I did my best to speed my demise up, using more and more of any downers I could get my hands on. I wanted to die.....

Fortunately I'm still here, due to a combination of factors that I'll be discussing in future blogs.