Moving on...

At the moment I'm editing and uploading film to You Tube. The filming took place last year and Mark Saunders and I got to have a go at being on the 'other side' of the camera for a change! A lot of the people we filmed, have become volunteers with Wired In and have moved on somewhat from the stage they were at when the filming took place.

It is totally amazing how that change manifests itself for different people. One of the individuals we filmed is now drug free, has secure accommodation and has started to help others along their path to recovery. His spiritual life has blossomed, in fact he's a different person to the one we filmed - There's a sunny outlook now, the darkness has gone!

One of the other guys we filmed (Chris Hobbs) is now well maintained on a substitute prescription and doesn't use street drugs anymore. He also has his own private accommodation. With all the money he's saved from not buying drugs, he has passed his driving test and bought a car, which has given him the freedom to visit his extended family, living in England, and also to get around a lot easier with his young family.

To be in the position where I can witness individuals, making these kind of changes in their lives, is an unbelievable privilege that many do not get the chance to experience. It is definitely the best part of my job. There are many people that make it out of drug addiction into recovery, and recovery that is long-term too. But the problem is that we don't always get to hear about those people, and this is why I believe that what Wired In is doing is so important. For those who are still trapped in the depths of addiction, there can be no better person to hear about recovery from, than a recovered addict - straight from the horses mouth. 

We should all be pushing for this kind of thing to happen on a far bigger scale, with proper funding. Until ex-addicts are given the platform to be able to discuss their personal experiences, victory's and failures, then we simply aren't going to understand recovery, with all of it's connotations. The better our understanding of recovery, that is, understanding gained from those who have recovered, the better we can facilitate recovery in others.

More drug re-classification???

I read with interest a story highlighted on today's Daily Dose, about the probable re-classification of both ecstasy and LSD, from class A to class B. I agree that both of these drugs are less harmful than heroin, cocaine and injecting amphetamine and so yes probably should be in a different, lower class. 

But what I don't agree with, is the way this announcement is going to be portrayed in the media. We will have scaremongering stories, sensationalist in nature, all describing ecstasy and LSD as the nastiest things since Hitler, indeed The Sun has already started, quoting headlines from 2001 and 1995, of two deaths linked to ecstasy. Stories from 7 and 13 years ago? If that is not scaremongering, I don't know what is!

The 'street' ecstasy of today isn't what it used to be, even 5-10 years ago ( I sound like my Grandfather talking about the old days with rose-tinted glasses!) It was a lot stronger then and also cost a lot more.  Today, E costs as little as £1 or £2 a pill and contains anything but MDMA. Perhaps, because of these changes, the party drug of choice isn't even ecstasy anymore, many people have switched to ketamin, taking it in combination with other 'uppers'. 

Maybe before newspaper editors print stories they should consider both sides of the argument and give an non-biased view - Fat chance!!

Is it all worth it?

At the moment I'm feeling tired out and a little run down. There is a lot of after hours work to do, so many DIY jobs to do around the house and garden, family relationships and friendships to maintain and nurture. I really enjoy writing this blog but since I moved and lost my broadband connection for 10 days, my visitor numbers have dropped a lot. Sometimes I think, 'is it all worthwhile'?

It was when I was feeling sorry for myself, that I remembered the position I was in, only 2-3 years ago, with seemingly no hope and no future. The realisation hit me like a sledgehammer - of course life is difficult at times, and yes I do tend to get snappy and short tempered with those closest to me, my loved ones, in those difficult times (and always regret it afterwards and apologise unreservedly!) But, that is what makes life so beautiful - the variety! 

Life is a roller coaster of ups and downs, a merry-go-round of emotions and struggles, and we've all heard the saying - what goes up, must come down! It's a simple equation and what's more, if we didn't have tough times, how would we come to recognise and appreciate, the amazingly, brilliant times, that we've all experienced at some time or other, in our lives.

How we grade our experiences, good or bad, is relative to our past experiences. Because they are our personal yardstick's, our very own "control" in the experiment that is life. If all a particular individual has to look back on in their life, is tough times and pain, then perhaps they would consider a day that goes smoothly, without upset, pain or struggles, in fact without any kind of event what so ever! As the most joyful, happy day of their lives. It may only rate 2/10 to somebody else, but to them it was a perfect 10/10. How we rate our experiences, is very personal and depends almost entirely on what we've come to expect as 'normal'.

I tend to get caught up so much in the present that I almost forget about both past and future events, which usually results in me getting bogged down in what I'm doing at the time, getting stressed out, and then feeling sorry for myself. But now I've realised that this is happening to me at the moment, I'm able to do something about it, and assess my life logically - Today, I haven't injected myself or shoplifted. I didn't wake up withdrawing or have to search out money, risking imprisonment, death or injury, and I've got a beautiful girlfriend, who loves me with all she's got (even when I'm narky with her!)

On my new 'Kev scale' of good days, I reckon that makes for a perfect 10 of a day!

Chronic???

I thought I'd post a blog on the topic covered in an earlier blog by David Clark - 'The nature of addiction:chronic or not?'

In my opinion, addiction can seem like a chronic problem to overcome, especially when you're in the middle of it. There is not only the physical addiction to overcome, with all it can bring along - withdrawals, poor health etc: there is also the mental addiction, and the consequences of this can be far more reaching - lack of confidence, poor self-esteem etc, which can last a lifetime, whether or not that person stops using/drinking or not.

For those addicted to mind altering substances (and by that I mean alcoholics and drug users), understanding mental addiction can be a lot harder than understanding physical addiction. Physical addiction stops from between 1-5 days (depending on which drug or whether it's alcohol) after the last dose has been taken, those days characterised by physical withdrawals. Mental addiction doesn't stop there, it's far more complicated than that, it goes on and on whether or not you're actually physically using. Add to that equation the fact that not many addicts have even heard of something called 'mental addiction', let alone know how to combat and overcome it and you have a set of circumstances that are very, very hard to recover from.

I myself, in the earlier years of my addiction, couldn't understand why after a period of physical abstinence (not using) I would at some point, go back to using drugs addictively. My family figured that as I'd gone back to it, of my own free will, it must have been because I didn't really want to stop. I must admit, with what I understood about addiction at the time, that was the only conclusion I could come up with as well! But the fact was, I didn't want to be an addict.

It was years later that I realised, through contact with an inspirational man who ran the rehab I went to - LivingStones, that whenever I had managed, by a huge act of will, to stop using for any length of time (sometimes a week, sometimes a year), I was still mentally addicted, that was why I'd eventually go back to using. I needed to break my mental addiction to secure any kind of meaningful recovery. 

Breaking my mental addiction was a long process and involved such things as support from those who understand addiction and recovery, a change of the setting I was in, building up a new set of friends, belief that I could achieve my goals ( from myself and those supporting me), having structure in my day and getting involved in voluntary work that boosted my confidence.

So personally, I don't think of the word 'chronic' in a negative sense. To me it portrays the long-term nature of recover from serious substance use problems. Recovery is not something that comes over night - it takes a lot of hard work over a period of time and that is why it is so important to have long-term help and support available. At the moment many treatment services think that putting people, for instance, on a methadone script, is classed as successful treatment - but it's not as simple as this, as I have said above - people need help dealing with all of the other issues in their lives (i.e. the reasons they began using and the problems that have occurred as a result of their using). I think if workers understand the chronic and long term nature of addiction, then the ways that they try to address the problems will be far more effective and longer lasting.

The most important thing is, that if addiction is labelled as a chronic disease then people MUST be made aware that RECOVERY IS POSSIBLE. Calling addiction a chronic disorder and not telling and showing people that addiction can be overcome would be very detrimental to the addict.

All in all I'd say yes, addiction is chronic and yes, it can be overcome.

The Wired In 'Way Forward'

Wired In's strategy was launched today on Daily Dose and I for one think it's bang on! Drug and alcohol services out there should be offering a service based on 'recovery' not simply treatment for treatment's sake.

In an earlier blog I spoke of my experiences of community based drug services in my local area, and how once I was on Methadone my key worker thought her job was done, she couldn't even remember my name without looking on her folder. For people to succeed in obtaining lasting recovery, they need a strong relationship with their worker/s which is led by the client themselves. Without this it becomes very hard to make any meaningful, lasting changes to their lives. 

I'd like to stress I'm not saying all the doctors, CPN's or key-workers I've ever been with, have been of no help to me, because that simply wouldn't be true, my current GP is excellent and I know there are many other excellent workers out there.But, we need more of them and if your in a 'caring job' and aren't enjoying it or you've lost your enthusiasm, then get out, do something else, something that will fulfill you.

The current 'containment' strategy in operation, at prescribing services up and down the country isn't working. Yes substitute prescribing has it's place, but it's not the magical answer to everything.

"The Journey"...An amazing production by Teen Challenge

Last night I went to watch a musical called "The Journey", a dramatic story of an addict's search for freedom, put on by Teen Challenge UK and hosted at the City Temple, Cardiff. I'm not really sure what I expected, but I was absolutely blown away by what I experienced. All of the cast were recovering addicts as were much of the crew. It was so powerful that I, amongst many, was in tears.

It charted one man's decline into drug addiction, with all of it's chaos, fear and pain, and followed his story right through until he had invited the life changing power of Jesus Christ into his life. All of the scene's having well thought out props with amazing music and lyrics to boot. It was a very accurate and true to life script, it didn't over sensationalise addiction, but nor did it pull it's punches either.

It ended with the lead actor, David Cartwright, giving his personal testimony about how Jesus had freed him from his own heroin addiction. He spoke of his life now - happily married, working in a Christian ministry with recovering addicts, with such a complete look of joy and freedom upon his face that his peacefulness shone from him.

Personally, it helped me to reconsider my position in life. Where I had come from, what I had achieved, and where I hoped my life will lead. It re-grounded me in my recovery, and I gratefully thanked the Lord Jesus for also ridding me of my addictions, reiterating my promise to follow his teachings and example in my everyday life. 

When I bump into old using friends, a common question from them is "how come you succeeded in quitting drugs this time when you'd failed so many times before. What was different this time?" None of them expect the answer they get, "Becoming a Christian and using Jesus' strength, not just my own". Life still has ups and downs, but now I have a mental and spiritual strength that I didn't have before, and a God that's always there for me. 

Check out the trailer on the Teen Challenge website.

 

The film of my recovery launches on the web!

This film chronicles my 15 year struggle with addiction and how I found my pathway to recovery. In addition, my mother, Kerry, explains the effect that my addiction had on her and the rest of my family.

Making this film was really emotional as I revisited some of the most difficult parts of my life. However, I feel that it was more than worth it as I have had the opportunity to reach out to others who are facing similar issues – giving them hope and encouragement that it is possible to break free from addiction and enjoy life again.

Since completing this film I feel that I have come a long way. I moved out of the rehab and into a shared house, continued with my voluntary work and then gained full-time employment as a Substance Misuse Worker. I’ve recently bought my own house with my girlfriend and I’m really enjoying life – the good and the bad!

As the film was shot in high definition, we have had to cut it up into eight sections so that it could be viewed on the web. There is also a shorter version (8 minutes long), which is a summary of my journey.

I hope that you enjoy this film and that you gain a better understanding of addiction and recovery. I would really appreciate hearing your feedback, so please do not hesitate to contact me (kevinm@wiredin.org.uk). 

Vancouver mayoral candidates unite to keep 'shooting gallery' open

In a news conference in downtown Vancouver, four different candidates from two different party's plus a former mayor, came together to deliver a united message to the federal government: stop being ideological, look at the facts, and allow Vancouver's supervised-injection site to stay open.

Non-Partisan Association (NPA) Councillor, Peter Ladner said he realizes that it bothers some policy-makers that people who use the site often have to commit crimes and always have to buy illegal drugs on the street in order to be there, but they have to realize the site has community support and is a humanitarian response to a terrible health crisis.

As covered in an earlier blog, the supervised injecting site was recently reviewed by an expert advisory committee commissioned by Health Minister, Tony Clement to decide whether or not the site was having favourable results in the community it serves. Their findings showed the site was doing just that, providing health benefits without increasing harm.

A member of that panel, Dr Thomas Kerr, a researcher with the Centre for Excellence on HIV/AIDS, commented, "Now it's time for the federal government to honour the findings and stop asking if this program should remain open."

The site's current exemption from federal drug laws expires June 30, but Federal Health Minister Tony Clement hasn't yet said whether he will extend the pass and allow the site to remain open.

Why is it that after fighting to get this place open in the first place, and it being proven to benefit the local community, that it's future still isn't guaranteed? Far from looking to close it, the Canadian Government should be heralding this project as the success it is, and promoting it across Canada and the World as a whole. I for one would welcome this kind of provision in the UK. When our Government is looking for 'new' strategy's why don't they look at what's working in other Countries and follow their example?

It's time for a whole new approach to 'recovery' in the UK.

Alan Carr's "Easy way to stop smoking"

I started to read this book last night and was absolutely stunned by the claims it made. Apparently 90% of the people who go through Allen Carr's EASYWAY clinics, kick the smoking habit for good. As anybody in the addiction field will know these statistics are the thing of dreams for any of the services offering help with addiction, world wide.

I've only just scratched the surface of this book, but it set my mind thinking, what, fundamentally, is the difference to being addicted to nicotine or any other substance? If these claims are true, they must obviously work on a psychological level, changing the way we think, which then leads on to a change in the physical state, changing the way we feel and act.

I don't know how substantiated these claims are or whether or not the same principles this method uses could be applied to other addictive drugs.

Has anybody else read this book or gone to Allen Carr's clinics? If so, did it work for you?

I'll keep you posted as I go along

Recovery-snakes and ladders:part 4

I walked back to my friends house and apologised to him for my actions, it was a tearful reunion. He knew what I'd planned to do with the money I'd taken, as I'd left him a note trying to explain my actions. I'd hoped my end would justify my means, it didn't.

I then spent the night in an empty flat and woke up to the landlord banging on the door first thing in the morning, kicking me out into the street. What had happened to me? What had I become? I knew I was sinking deeper into a life of pain and social exclusion, that's why I took the OD. Call me selfish but I couldn't face up to the fact I was sinking to a whole new level. Now I'd even stolen from a friend, I was scum. The only way I knew of dealing with these feelings, was by self-medicating, I needed to block out the self-loathing and despair I felt for myself.

I didn't think it could get any worse, but, little did I know the next 5 years were going to be a living hell. Over this period I couldn't even bring myself to look in the mirror. I was the lowest of the low, a failure who couldn't even manage to kill himself. I hated myself but was powerless to do anything about it.

Is there a God??? - Part 1

This was a question that I had decided I knew the answer to through my teenage years. Only I was in control of my destiny, of course there wasn't a God. I was an atheist, and quite happy with it.

By a few years later an element of doubt had crept in, I was living in a hostel with a drug addiction for company and was struggling with life. A guy called Wayne worked at this hostel, he was a young guy and easy to get on with. He'd take us to play 5-a-side football, out for coffee, that kind of thing.

Wayne was a christian, wasn't too pushy, but then again he didn't hide it either. Sometimes he'd tell me about what Jesus had done for him, changing his life for the better, and that Jesus also loved me and wanted to change my life too. He said Jesus loved me, always had, always would. I found this very hard to believe. How could he love me, when I hated myself? This couldn't be right! I was an heroin addict, what did God, if he existed, want with me? But I was intrigued.

There was a Gideon Bible in my room and I started to read it a little. I came across a passage in one of the Gospel books, I know now it was Mark 2:17. In it Jesus explains the kind of people he's come to save,

"On hearing this, Jesus said to them, "It is not the healthy who need a doctor, but the sick. I have not come to call the righteous, but sinners."

If there was one thing I was certain about, it was that I was a sinner! When I read that I realised that Jesus did love me, and even loved me enough to die for me!

I had to speak to Wayne right now! I ran around until I found him, "I want Jesus, and I want him now", was all I could say. He asked me a few questions, was I ready to turn away from the sin in my life? YES! Was I prepared to put effort in to changing with God's help? YES! Would I proclaim Jesus as my Lord and Saviour? YES! We prayed together and it was like a great weight was lifted off my shoulders. Before, I'd always had an internal mental feeling that my head, if described in a picture, was a great big jumble of knotted string, it almost hurt when I closed my eyes. But now that was gone, something had definitely changed within me!

But, for the next 6 years my life was to get a lot harder. Was there a God??? I still wasn't completely sure.....

Follow up - Drug users are not dirty

Yesterday I received a number of anonymous comments, over a short period of time. Each of which was strongly in opposition to my earlier posting "Drug users are not dirty". While I replied collectively with my own comment I thought it right and proper to raise this issue directly in a blog, so that everyone could have the opportunity to read these comments and reply with their own views. Please use the link provided to read the post and it's comments, and let me know your thoughts, thank you.

http://kevrecovery.blogspot.com/2008/03/drug-users-are-not-dirty.html

Recovery-snakes and ladders:part 3

It was about 6 hours later when I regained consciousness, I was alone, it didn't look like anybody had been near me. I was absolutely gutted, what was I still doing alive? This could not be possible, I'd injected enough to kill a horse! I decided to walk up to the A&E hospital, not to actually go to A&E but to jump off the top of the car park there. I wanted the immense pain that my life had become to end, and it was the closest high building. A couple of hours later I was 7 storeys up. Looking down, I found that I couldn't jump. I was used to sticking needles in my arm but I'd never jumped from 70 feet before. It scared the shit out of me! I kept drifting in and out of consciousness so I decided to sit on the edge of the thin parapet thinking that the next time I lost consciousness I would just fall off. But, I kept on waking up, still there. This went on for hours and hours until I thought this isn't going to happen, I might as well get down. My problems now were even worse, I'd stolen the money I used to buy the gear from a friend, thinking that my end would justify the means I'd used. I was a complete failure, I couldn't even kill myself and now I'd stolen from a friend, something I'd never done before and now regretted. I didn't know what I was going to do, my options had run out. I was desperate and lonely.

'Shooting gallery' encourages users to get treatment

I read with interest Monday's Daily dose which highlighted a story from Vancouver, Canada, about a supervised injecting site which was recently reviewed by an expert advisory committee commissioned by Health Minister, Tony Clement to decide whether or not the site was having favourable results in the community it serves. The committee of experts in addictions, mental health and criminology reported that the site is well supported in the local community, provides good value for money, doesn't increase crime rates or drug use, actually encourages drug users to get treatment and necessary vaccinations, and also reduces overdose rates.

Researcher Dr Thomas Kerr commented,

"Overall, the report is very positive and confirms our research that the site is doing what it's supposed to do -- provide health benefits without increasing harm," said Kerr, a researcher with the Centre for Excellence on HIV/AIDS. "Now it's time for the federal government to honour the findings and stop asking if this program should remain open."

Sounds like a good result to me! A friend of mine works in a direct access, front line hostel as a support worker. In a recent conversation he mentioned that the charity he works for has investigated the possibilities of opening the same kind of facilities here. Their findings were that it was possible, legally, to do this here. Over the last two years, in this hostel alone, I know personally of 5 people who have died from overdoses while secretly injecting. This kind of initiative would have saved their lives. Addiction is about life and death, it's that serious, and it's time a radical new approach is sanctioned to minimise the harm caused to substance misuser's, so that they will still be alive when all the pieces fit together for their recovery. Could 'shooting gallery's' be that radical new approach?

Breath of fresh air

Earlier this month a group of over 40 Imams, community leaders and local councillors met in Ilford to discuss the issue of drug abuse in the Muslim and Asian communities. The event celebrates a year anniversary for the 'Joining the loop' partnership, set up by Drugsline director, Aryeh Sufrin and local Imam, Haroon Patel. The purpose of the event being to share experiences and generate better awareness in local leaders, so that they'll be in a stronger position to support members of their communities who are battling with substance misuse issue's. The service offers drugs information, crisis support and counselling, provided by 35 volunteers in Urdu, Bengali, Gujarati, Hebrew and Yiddish, all made possible by a council grant.

It's fantastic to see this kind of event happening in Britain. Substance misuser's are generally in an excluded and stigmatised minority in this Country, even more so in Muslim and Asian circles, where addiction is considered a taboo subject. This is a viewpoint that the partnership is tackling head on. Drugsline director and local Rabbi Aryeh Sufrin commented,

"There are no boundaries to those who can find themselves struggling with
addiction. We need everyone to reach out and spread the message in their
communities to let them know that these services exist.
Drugsline has over 15 years experience of dealing with drugs and alcohol addiction issues and now our expertise is available to those who otherwise would have little or no appropriate support."

I wonder what it would take to set an event up like this in South Wales. This is the kind of action we need if we’re going to tackle substance misuse successfully. Hopefully with precedents like this being set, the rest of the Country will soon follow suit and actually pull together to get the results I think we all want. The inertia in this area is demoralising for everyone, let’s all do something about it.

If you'd like more information on Drugsline you can contact them on http://www.drugsline.org/ or call 020 8554 3220.

Recovery???

"Am I in recovery now???"

The word "recovery" used in terms of drug and alcohol addiction is not well defined, it seems. The term means different things to different people. " I'm a recovering addict" is a phrase commonly used by lots of people, but what exactly does that mean? It could be used by somebody who's still using street drugs or alcohol but is working at addressing their issues, maybe attending a group or something similar. It could be used by somebody who's stopped using alcohol or street drugs but is on some form of substitute prescription. It can even be used by somebody who was once an alcoholic or addict but no longer uses even prescribed substitute medicine. Which one, if any, would be the more accurate use of this term? Further to this, can somebody in recovery ever reach the pinnacle this word suggests, and actually become 'recovered'?

All too often in my experience I've noticed that professionals, in the drug and alcohol field, would consider me to be in recovery just because they had secured me a script of substitute drugs. This thinking is bizarre. Recovery, in my opinion, is about a large combination of factors which will be different for us all, but involving physical, mental and spiritual factors, all combining in different amounts but contributing to the final outcome of securing lasting behavior change. Recovery cannot be imposed by a third party, it's up to the user themselves to decide what their goals are in relation to their capabilities. If somebodies goal is to stop using street drugs and stay on a maintenance script of something or other for life, then they've attained their goal/s and have reached recovery. Maybe why that's why the term is not easily defined, it varies for all of us.

To those that have an addiction problem, I'd like to say that recovery is about listening to your heart, not your head.

Recovery-snakes and ladders:part 2

We last left my story at the point where I'd given up on life. From there I entered a long period of drifting with the flow, with hardly any hope of ever beating my addiction. Living in a hostel I was surrounded by drugs and drug users, I had no friends outside of these circles and only acquaintances within. Through these years many of the people I knew died, mostly overdosing and some through more secondary causes. I wanted the pain I was in, not just physically but mentally as well, to stop for good. I took a huge overdose of 10 bags of heroin, the most I'd ever taken in one go before was 2, and they were very small. This was not a cry for help, I believed this amount was guaranteed to finish me off and stop my pain for good. I cooked up and slammed it in, within ten seconds my hands and feet felt as though red hot needles were being repeatedly stabbed into them. Within another ten seconds my head felt like it was being crushed by huge weights repeatedly crashing into my temples as though in time with my pulse. Then I blacked out into unconsciousness.....

Conservative claptrap

In two articles highlighted today on Daily Dose, Conservative MPs are having a go at Labour's record in dealing with those with drink and drug problems. Apparently, the number of addicts claiming incapacity benefit or severe disablement allowance has doubled under Labour to more than 100,000.

“Taxpayers will be outraged that so much of their money is going to junkies and
winos who will use the money simply to fund their disgusting habits. Nobody
forced them to get hooked on drink or drugs. It’s their responsibility to get
cleaned up and off benefits.”

Tory MP David Davies, Monmouth

I used to think David Davies was alright, although that wasn't based on very much just what a friend from Monmouth had said. That has all changed. How narrow minded and bigoted can he get? It is horrifying that these are the views of a man with the power to influence the help available to those affected by addiction.

The Shadow Home secretary David Davis recently said,

“The flawed efforts to manage - not end - addiction make it part of the problem,
not the solution. We would extend abstinence-based drug rehabilitation to
get
addicts off all drugs for good.”

How does David Davis hope to do this with MPs such as David Davies in his party? While I agree in part with the Shadow Home secretary that trying to manage addiction just makes things worse, would I really want a political party who’s MPs spout so much derogatory nonsense in control of this nation and its NHS? No way, José! While I believe that abstinence, generally, is the correct goal to have as a recovering addict, that cannot possibly be decided by a third party. Only the addict can decide for themselves what their goals are, or should be. Our job as professionals is to support them in their decisions, utilising harm reduction methods where possible.

Substance users are already overly ostracized by society, which is detrimental to their recovery, without their MPs adding to this discrimination and further hindering their chances of long term recovery.

I’d like to know what my reader’s views are on these quotes, and the Tory party’s stance on addiction and recovery.

Honesty:The best policy?

Nick Clegg, the new Liberal Democrat leader was recently interviewed by GQ magazine, obviously an attempt to raise his profile in the "right" circles. While admitting he'd had "no more than thirty" lovers in his life, he point blank refused to answer whether he'd ever smoked a joint.
Likewise, David Cameron, the Conservative leader admits to membership of the Bullingdon Club, famous for smashing up top class restaurants. But clams up when asked about any drug linked exploits, even failing to deny claims in a biography that he came close to being expelled from Eton for using cannabis.
Nick Clegg is well known for calling for honesty in politics, but only as much as he is comfortable with it seems. Do politicians think it is better to say nothing when confronted? That we will all forget in time, if they look at their shoe's every time they're asked?

For me this question should have two possible responses from anybody who has ever partaken, starting either- Yes I have tried it, but regret it..., or, Yes I have tried it, and don't regret it...

On the other hand I applaud Boris Johnson, Henley MP and Conservative candidate for Mayor of London. Interviewed on Friday he admitted to both snorting coke and smoking ganja, saying that "The stuff you and I may have smoked is not the same as the kid's are having now. I think skunk and this stuff is very, very dangerous......I thoroughly disagree with drugs. I don't want my kids having drugs."
Surely it's far better to openly admit to your actions and give your reasons why they are mistakes, that you now regret. This would give the public correct information, allowing them to make their own informed decisions.

I hope this takes precedent in the world of politics and other MPs follow suite.

What do you think, is honesty the best policy?

Recovery-snakes and ladders:part 1

Throughout the years of my addiction I believed I had only one major hurdle to get over, that being to not use drugs, and then everything in my life would fall into place. Unfortunately this turned out to not be the case. I came to realise that my addiction had been masking lots of other issues in my life, such as feelings of inadequacy, poor life skills and social ineptitude to name but a few. These issues only came to light when I actually managed to stop using. I wasn't prepared for them and I was taken completely by surprise at a time when I was at my most vulnerable. This particular time ended in relapse for me, and turned into my darkest and most hopeless time of drug addiction. I felt I couldn't cope with life, using or not. I knew my options had run out and there was nothing left for me do but fade away. I did my best to speed my demise up, using more and more of any downers I could get my hands on. I wanted to die.....

Fortunately I'm still here, due to a combination of factors that I'll be discussing in future blogs.