Recovery-snakes and ladders:part 4

I walked back to my friends house and apologised to him for my actions, it was a tearful reunion. He knew what I'd planned to do with the money I'd taken, as I'd left him a note trying to explain my actions. I'd hoped my end would justify my means, it didn't.

I then spent the night in an empty flat and woke up to the landlord banging on the door first thing in the morning, kicking me out into the street. What had happened to me? What had I become? I knew I was sinking deeper into a life of pain and social exclusion, that's why I took the OD. Call me selfish but I couldn't face up to the fact I was sinking to a whole new level. Now I'd even stolen from a friend, I was scum. The only way I knew of dealing with these feelings, was by self-medicating, I needed to block out the self-loathing and despair I felt for myself.

I didn't think it could get any worse, but, little did I know the next 5 years were going to be a living hell. Over this period I couldn't even bring myself to look in the mirror. I was the lowest of the low, a failure who couldn't even manage to kill himself. I hated myself but was powerless to do anything about it.

Hope 08

I'd like to bring your attention to a 4 day long event which is happening nation wide from 2nd May to 5th May. The south Wales contingent of this event is localised in Sofia Gardens, Cardiff ( off Cathedral Road ). It's a Christian run occasion which aims to highlight the Good News of Christ Jesus, with events spread around South Wales by day, and a coming together in the evenings at a marquee in Sofia Gardens.

http://www.hope-revolution.com/Publisher/Article.aspx?id=110276

As part of Hope 08, three young people from Cardiff are planning to experience how some people in poverty are forced to live, day in, day out, namely sleeping rough in self made 'shanty towns'. The guys will build a makeshift shelter out of cardboard and tarpaulin, living in it from this Friday through to Monday. One of the guys, Richard, spoke to me earlier today, explaining that their objective is to raise awareness of 3rd world poverty, and at the same time raise money to combat this problem.

I've heard about similar events before, where I'd felt that the people involved were there for the wrong reasons, namely to further their own cause, maybe even because it was something to put on their CV to make them stand out. Talking to Richard, I didn't sense anything of this shallowness I've talked about, I think the guys motives are in the right place, and I wish them well.

It's easy for us all to get swept along in the ups and downs of everyday life, but please take a moment to consider the plight of those less well off than yourselves. People who don't even have the basics such as food, water and shelter. We can all do something to help, it doesn't have to be giving money, it could be something as simple as telling people about this event or giving a little of your time to help others.

Please remember that it isn't just in 3rd World Country's that people are living in poverty, it's on our doorsteps too...

Do you have a piece missing?

I was riding home on my bike earlier today when I noticed a bill board sign (see right) and it set me thinking about life, more specifically about making behavior changes in life.

In 1943, Abraham Maslow published a paper titled-"A theory of human motivation"

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Maslow%27s_hierarchy_of_needs

which stated that each of us is motivated by needs, the lower order needs, physical and emotional well being, needing to be satisfied before we will be concerned with the higher order needs of influence and personnel development.

In my experience of addiction and homelessness there isn't a lot of understanding around this concept, I'm talking about professionals here! People who work day in, day out in the field, and if these people aren't passing this message to their clients then how is it going to be heard? Should we start treating those with substance misuse problems as equals and give them this kind of education or continue to try and bail out a sinking vessal, treating the symtoms but not the causes?

Put simply- How can somebody conquer their substance misuse problems when they don't have adequate information and education on possible ways of doing this?

There's a BIG piece missing.