Wired In volunteers kick ass!

Earlier today I had a meeting with Rachel, a researcher from a TV production company based in London. The company she works for is looking to make a hard hitting, 2-part documentary about cocaine and heroin, which is planned to cover the whole process involved with drugs, that's everything from the farmers who grow the crops, to the street level user and the drug policy's that effect everyone, across the world.

They are looking for a city in the UK to film the heroin part of the program, and it looks like that city could be Cardiff! Rachel wanted to meet up with our volunteers to find out their feelings and thoughts on the issues facing drug users, how the drug policy's in place affect them and also to see if they wanted to be part of the cast!

Three of our volunteers were there, Chris Hobbs, Patrick McClellan and Brian White. It was a great meeting, everyone got stuck in debating the different issues that drug users are facing, from how people get into it, right through to how people get into recovery and what the treatment services can offer to them. We got on so well that three hours later we were still chatting! 

Rachel seemed to have a passion for the truth and I got a really good feeling about what her company wanted to do. But if there's one thing that stood out for me, it's how proud I felt of the guys there. They've come such a long way in a short time, and for them to be there, meeting with a production company researcher, who wants to put them on prime time! Well I'm filling up just thinking about it. Next stop Hollywood lads!

Everyone of the guy's there was an ex-heroin user. It just shows that addiction can be overcome and it is possible to have a fulfilling, active life after drug addiction. I'm not just talking about a lucky few people who manage to cling on to recovery by the skin of their teeth, I'm saying that EVERYONE who has a drug addiction has the potential within themselves to conquer it and live a free life again. That inner potential just needs to be realised and gently nurtured in a supportive atmosphere.

 

Methadone time limit??

One of Scotland's leading authorities on drug treatment, released a statement yesterday calling for a time limit on substitute methadone prescribing for heroin addicts. Neil McKeganey, Professor of Drugs Misuse Research at Glasgow University, said that methadone treatment should only be available for a short time, suggesting that 2 years is long enough for anyone to overcome their addiction problems before becoming drug free.

He said: "There is no question that methadone has a role to play in assisting addicts to become drug-free but we have far too many addicts on it for far too long, many of whom are continuing to use illegal drugs alongside their methadone," he said.

"I am not saying we should not have methadone but what I am saying is people should be on it for a modest period of time and moved on to a drug-free programme. If it's not time limited, they remain on it for far too long and I do not think we should have addicts on methadone for more than two years."

In my opinion, it is a vast generalisation to say that everyone with an addiction problem should be drug free within 2 years. It should be treated on a case by case basis, some may need methadone or another kind of substitute treatment (yes there is more than one kind) for a lot longer than the next man/women.

In my personal experience of treatment and recovery, I eventually realised that it was essential I be in control of my treatment, in both increasing and decreasing the dosage and also the time scale, (I'll be talking more about this in the near future). I was certainly a lot more successful in my recovery when I was given responsibility in making my own decisions, with medical guidance of course, than when it was forced upon me.

In a previous posting, I've talked about how I've experienced methadone being used in the wrong way, but implementing a blanket ruling such as a time limit is totally the wrong way of addressing this problem. There isn't a quick fix (no pun intended!) for solving the issue of addiction and recovery in our society. It's going to take a whole new treatment/recovery ethos, with 'client led' at the top of the list.

Greased lightning!!

I've recently been trying to get to grips with a new laptop, apparently this particular type of computer, a MacBook, is essential for film work! The thing is, I've never used a Mac before, so after getting the basic workings i.e. On/off, open browser,open/send emails, I figured that I should have a play with the built in video recording and editing software, after all, I was supposed to be filming/editing interviews with volunteers, very soon with this laptop! I knew how to open the program, imovie, but had absolutely no idea how to record or anything else for that matter, so unless I got to grips with it quickly, I was going to look like a right numpty, when I tried to use it in work.

So first thing the next morning, with a cup of strong coffee and a big thick encyclopedia of a Mac manual, I decided that I'd figure it out, once and for all. After playing about, tentatively trying every button on the screen, I finally found the record button and was so chuffed I decided to record something then and there, so I could then practice my editing. Well, that's when it all went wrong, and it was very much downhill from there.

At that exact moment, on the kitchen radio, a medley of songs from the musical film 'Grease' started. So in a flash of stupidity, I decided it was now or never, I turned the stereo right up, grabbed a TV remote control for a microphone and hit the record button!

For the next 4-5 minutes I belted it out, well, when I could remember the words! I was John Travolta himself! It made absolutely no difference at all that I knew hardly any of the words, because I was terrible! If you could achieve a number 1 hit by enthusiasm alone though, I'd be top of the charts, week in, week out! So after recording my singing and dancing, I saved it on the computer to be edited later.

After I'd finished a very basic edit on the footage, I decided it would be wrong to keep this all to myself. I figured that the whole world should see, and enjoy my shame So I uploaded it to You Tube, and when I was prompted to name it, I decided - 'Kevin making a fool out of himself' was apt!

So settle back and watch me, being me.

Photograph Copyright Paramount Pictures

 

Moving on...

At the moment I'm editing and uploading film to You Tube. The filming took place last year and Mark Saunders and I got to have a go at being on the 'other side' of the camera for a change! A lot of the people we filmed, have become volunteers with Wired In and have moved on somewhat from the stage they were at when the filming took place.

It is totally amazing how that change manifests itself for different people. One of the individuals we filmed is now drug free, has secure accommodation and has started to help others along their path to recovery. His spiritual life has blossomed, in fact he's a different person to the one we filmed - There's a sunny outlook now, the darkness has gone!

One of the other guys we filmed (Chris Hobbs) is now well maintained on a substitute prescription and doesn't use street drugs anymore. He also has his own private accommodation. With all the money he's saved from not buying drugs, he has passed his driving test and bought a car, which has given him the freedom to visit his extended family, living in England, and also to get around a lot easier with his young family.

To be in the position where I can witness individuals, making these kind of changes in their lives, is an unbelievable privilege that many do not get the chance to experience. It is definitely the best part of my job. There are many people that make it out of drug addiction into recovery, and recovery that is long-term too. But the problem is that we don't always get to hear about those people, and this is why I believe that what Wired In is doing is so important. For those who are still trapped in the depths of addiction, there can be no better person to hear about recovery from, than a recovered addict - straight from the horses mouth. 

We should all be pushing for this kind of thing to happen on a far bigger scale, with proper funding. Until ex-addicts are given the platform to be able to discuss their personal experiences, victory's and failures, then we simply aren't going to understand recovery, with all of it's connotations. The better our understanding of recovery, that is, understanding gained from those who have recovered, the better we can facilitate recovery in others.

More drug re-classification???

I read with interest a story highlighted on today's Daily Dose, about the probable re-classification of both ecstasy and LSD, from class A to class B. I agree that both of these drugs are less harmful than heroin, cocaine and injecting amphetamine and so yes probably should be in a different, lower class. 

But what I don't agree with, is the way this announcement is going to be portrayed in the media. We will have scaremongering stories, sensationalist in nature, all describing ecstasy and LSD as the nastiest things since Hitler, indeed The Sun has already started, quoting headlines from 2001 and 1995, of two deaths linked to ecstasy. Stories from 7 and 13 years ago? If that is not scaremongering, I don't know what is!

The 'street' ecstasy of today isn't what it used to be, even 5-10 years ago ( I sound like my Grandfather talking about the old days with rose-tinted glasses!) It was a lot stronger then and also cost a lot more.  Today, E costs as little as £1 or £2 a pill and contains anything but MDMA. Perhaps, because of these changes, the party drug of choice isn't even ecstasy anymore, many people have switched to ketamin, taking it in combination with other 'uppers'. 

Maybe before newspaper editors print stories they should consider both sides of the argument and give an non-biased view - Fat chance!!

Is it all worth it?

At the moment I'm feeling tired out and a little run down. There is a lot of after hours work to do, so many DIY jobs to do around the house and garden, family relationships and friendships to maintain and nurture. I really enjoy writing this blog but since I moved and lost my broadband connection for 10 days, my visitor numbers have dropped a lot. Sometimes I think, 'is it all worthwhile'?

It was when I was feeling sorry for myself, that I remembered the position I was in, only 2-3 years ago, with seemingly no hope and no future. The realisation hit me like a sledgehammer - of course life is difficult at times, and yes I do tend to get snappy and short tempered with those closest to me, my loved ones, in those difficult times (and always regret it afterwards and apologise unreservedly!) But, that is what makes life so beautiful - the variety! 

Life is a roller coaster of ups and downs, a merry-go-round of emotions and struggles, and we've all heard the saying - what goes up, must come down! It's a simple equation and what's more, if we didn't have tough times, how would we come to recognise and appreciate, the amazingly, brilliant times, that we've all experienced at some time or other, in our lives.

How we grade our experiences, good or bad, is relative to our past experiences. Because they are our personal yardstick's, our very own "control" in the experiment that is life. If all a particular individual has to look back on in their life, is tough times and pain, then perhaps they would consider a day that goes smoothly, without upset, pain or struggles, in fact without any kind of event what so ever! As the most joyful, happy day of their lives. It may only rate 2/10 to somebody else, but to them it was a perfect 10/10. How we rate our experiences, is very personal and depends almost entirely on what we've come to expect as 'normal'.

I tend to get caught up so much in the present that I almost forget about both past and future events, which usually results in me getting bogged down in what I'm doing at the time, getting stressed out, and then feeling sorry for myself. But now I've realised that this is happening to me at the moment, I'm able to do something about it, and assess my life logically - Today, I haven't injected myself or shoplifted. I didn't wake up withdrawing or have to search out money, risking imprisonment, death or injury, and I've got a beautiful girlfriend, who loves me with all she's got (even when I'm narky with her!)

On my new 'Kev scale' of good days, I reckon that makes for a perfect 10 of a day!

Is there a God??? - Part 2

After that day my life certainly got a lot, lot harder. My addiction to heroin got stronger with every failed attempt to stop using. There came a point where I just through the towel in, I figured that as I couldn't stop using the best thing to do was to use as much as I could, whenever I could, that way it would all be over soon-I hoped.

Even though Wayne had helped me to understand a little about Jesus, before I prayed to him, there was no continuation of this teaching and I knew nothing of what to expect from God or what my part of this bargain was. I didn't know any other Christians at this time, so my Christian life stopped there, before it had even got started!

It was 5 years later when I met a young lady that worked for a drug and alcohol charity, Wired In (formally 'WIRED'). I started to volunteer for this charity, although I didn't actually do anything or attend any planned meetings as my life was so hectic at this time! But then, only 4 months later I ended up in hospital, seriously ill. I didn't know it at the time but I was to spend the next 8 months in hospital, and would eventually need a hip replacement.

As a product of the life I had led, I didn't think much of other people, I felt they were all out for themselves and they would step on anyone to get where they wanted. My friendship with this young lady from Wired In, helped me to realise that not everybody was like this, that there were still kind and considerate people in the world. 

She would visit several times a week and we would spend hours talking about all sorts of things and having a laugh together. Then she started to talk about what being a Christian meant to her and how it had helped her. I was intrigued and so I started to read a Bible again and would have question after question to ask her about what I was reading. There was lots I couldn't grasp and some I thought was just plain wrong!

I had so much time on my hands that I would read almost constantly, as I was bed bound, it was 1 of the only things I could actually do! My mother brought me in a book she had bought from the hospital shop downstairs, 'Taming the tiger' by Tony Antony. It was a biography about a guy who had been world Kung Fu champion 3 years on the trot, until his life took a turn for the worse and he ended up in jail. I've always loved martial arts, from films to books, whatever! Bruce Lee is one of my heroes. So I thought I'd give this book a go.

I couldn't have possibly seen what was coming next! I'll tell you about it in part 3!